Top 100 facebook status messages !!

• ·       You were born an original. Don’t die a copy
• ·       Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected
• ·       who said nothing is impossible. I have been doing nothing for the past hour4When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
• ·       When someone sees you crying, and ask: “Are you sad?” Punch them in the face, and ask: “Are you okay?”
• ·       When someone is so sweet to you, don’t expect that they will be like that all the time.. because even the sweetest chocolate expires…
• ·       When somebody says you’ve changed, it’s only because you stopped living your life their way.
• ·       What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GORGEOUS? I stare, I smile & when I get tired, I put the mirror down!
• ·       was playing “FARMVILLE” when immigration showed up and took all my workers
• ·       used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she’s good at everything.
• ·       U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one. Fish cant Drown
• ·       To Catch Me, You Gotta Be Fast. To Find Me, You Gotta Be Smart. To Be Me? Shit! You Gotta Be Kidding! 
• ·       thinks that it’s great when strangers become best friends, but it’s sad when best friends become strangers.
• ·       thinks that a bad thing about a good thing is that it always comes to an end.
• ·       thinks of herself in 3rd person since joining Facebook.
• ·       thinks if you give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use facebook and they won’t bother you for weeks.
• ·       The best thing in life is finding someone who knows all your mistakes and weaknesses and still thinks you’re completely amazing!
• ·       STOP EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING!! Think about me for 3 seconds. 1… 2… 3… You have just experienced the best 3 seconds of your life
• ·       Sometimes I just want to run up to a stranger on the street and say “YOU’RE IT!!” and then run away.
• ·       Some people make your life better by walking into it, others make it better by leaving
• ·       Some people get so upset when you delete them from your fb friends list. What is the big deal it’s not like we’re real friends and hang out everyday.
• ·       says… Don’t let life get in the way of your dreams… go back to sleep!
• ·       says some say the glass is half empty, some say it’s half full… I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
• ·       says In about 50 years from now, tombstones will read ‘Beloved Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and Facebook friend
• ·       says if u need a friend (text me) need a laugh (call me) need a hug (stop by) need money (this number is no longer in service) lo
• ·       says always listen to your heart because even though its on the left side, it’s always right
• ·       says a clean house is the sign of a broken computer
• ·       Roses are red, violets are blue, friend requests are good but who the hell are you?!?
• ·       Please! Please!! Don’t write on my wall, i just painted it yesterday. Thanks.
• ·       One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too stubborn to ask for directions.
• ·       Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn’t surprising really, since it isn’t my birthday
• ·       my friends status said ” suicidal and standing on a cliff ” So I Poked Him.
• ·       moving sucks! why didn’t anyone invented copy and paste for real life?
• ·       Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• ·       Life is simple: Eat. Sleep. Change your Facebook status.
• ·       Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile
• ·       Life ends when u stop dreaming, hope ends when u stop believing & love ends when u stop caring. So dream hope & love…Makes Life Beautiful
• ·       Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile39knows Karate, Kung Fu, and
• ·       other dangerous words…
• ·       Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
• ·       kids in the back seat cause accidents. accidents in the back seats cause kids
• ·       kid’s dad join the facebook, kid posted on his wall : WTF! Dad asked him what is WTF? kid replied him “Welcome to Facebook…”…;
• ·       isn’t going to take life seriously… Nobody gets out alive anyway
• ·       is wondering…. if money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
• ·       is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?
• ·       is trying to remember what we all used to do before facebook was invented
• ·       is such a fabulous cook, even the smoke alarm is cheering me on!
• ·       is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years
• ·       is out of order until further notice. We apologize for the inconvenience
• ·       is now listed as single but in a relationship, it’s complicated.
• ·       is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while…
• ·       is cle’a]ni.ng he’r ke]yb29oa;rd53If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
• ·       If you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it’s one of two things: either a new girl, or a new car!
• ·       If you ever get caught sleeping on the job… slowly raise your head and say “in jesus name amen”
• ·       If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
• ·       if hugs were leaves, i’d give you a tree. If kisses were water, i’d give you an ocean. If love was life, i’d give you mine  ? ?
• ·       If a cop stops me and says “papers” and I say “scissors” do I win?
• ·       i wish i could be a status.. so that you would like me 
• ·       I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos
• ·       i love u \ two seconds 2 say it ,.,., two hours 2 explain it ,.,.,and a life time 2 prove it ……..
• ·       i Liked your Status and now 25 notifications later……..I’m hating me for Liking your status
• ·       I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
• ·       i just change the name of my ipod to “the titanic” so whenever i plug it in to my computer it says “the titanic is syncing”
• ·       I don’t like to think myself as ‘Special’ I like to think myself as limited edition
• ·       I do it because i can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn’t
• ·       I am used but in good condition
• ·       Honestly, when I crawled out of bed this morning I had no intention of being brilliant, but sometimes things just work out!
• ·       Have you noticed that the “lol” symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
• ·       had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide
• ·       Got a problem with me? solve it. Think im trippin? tie my shoe. Cant stand me? sit down. Cant face me? turn around an start walking
• ·       Goodbyes are not forever, Goodbyes are not the end, They simply mean I’ll miss you, Until we meet again!
• ·       Falling In Love With You Is The Second Best Thing I Have Done .. Finding You Is The First ?
• ·       Fake friends are like shadows: always near you at your brightest moments, but nowhere to be seen at your darkest hour….
• ·       Facebook is the only place where its acceptable to talk to a wall
• ·       Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, You write on walls and you get poked by people you dont know
• ·       Facebook is like a fridge. When you’re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there’s anything good in it.
• ·       dreams of a better world…where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned :0)
• ·       Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
• ·       Dont tell God how big your problems are…tell your problems how big God is 
• ·       Don’t worry about the people in your past .. There’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future
• ·       Don’t wait for the perfect moment…Take the moment and make it perfect…
• ·       Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that you’re not really friends with them?
• ·       Dear Maths, All my life you made me find your X !!! Listen buddy…She’s not coming back….So please move on!!! Regards, Frustrated Student85Being single doesn’t mean your weak, It means your strong enough to wait for what YOU deserve86Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
• ·       At times I feel that waiting for the right person in life is like waiting for boat at the airport88Any man can love a million girls, but only a real man can love one girl a million ways.
• ·       An “ex” is called an “ex” because it’s an EXample of who you shouldn’t go for again in the future.
• ·       Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.91Addicted to facebook and terrified of being offline!
• ·       A wise woman once sat in the audience & cracked a joke. All laughed like crazy. After a moment she cracked the same joke again and a little less people laughed this time. She cracked the same joke again & again, When there was no laughter in the crowd, she smiled and said “When u can’t laugh on the same joke again & again, then why do u keep crying over the same thing over and over again. ‘Forget the past & move on’
• ·       A wise man once said “Facebook must be female. Just when you think you’ve figured her all out, she changes.”
• ·       a guy knocked on my door today asking for a donation for the local primary school’s pool. I went away and came back with a cup of water….. Is that wrong?
• ·       A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed. 
• ·       3 ways to die early. smoking = 5 years early. alcohol = 10 years early. loving someone who doesn’t love you = you die daily.
• ·       *´¨`*twinkle twinkle little star…point me to the nearest bar *´¨`*
• ·       [FACEBOOK]-   This drug is very efficient for cases of chronic boredom. Extra doses can lead to addiction
• ·       *Alarm Clock* (n): An evil device invented by Satan to disrupt the peaceful sleep of otherwise happy folks at a predetermined hour
• ·       ”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington

Compiled by - Shashank dogRA